Kariyma's Prose Poem: Can You Tell?

Can you tell?

Or am I actually fooling you?

I wish I can tell you what I feel. How much pain I’m going through. I wish you didn’t believe me when I said I was happy. I was a girl full of life and color, now everything is dull and quiet. I just wish someone would hug me until all the anger and pain fade away and tell me I'm not as worthless as I think.

Did you mean it when you said you really love me - that I was your world, your heart in human form, or was that just lies to get me in bed? You hurt me. Can you tell I'm lying? I thought you said you knew me like the back of your hand. If you did, why can’t you tell I’m lying when I said I’m happy, or can you tell that I'm faking the smile I’m wearing now?

I'm starting to get scared of my own thoughts, like “why was I even born into this life?” Look what you did to me.

I'm more in love with the memories we had than I ever was with you. The part I miss the most is when we used to sit by the window and just let the words flow. Then we sat in silence for a couple of minutes and stare at the moon and say the first thing that came to our mind.

You were so easy to talk to.

I was just so comfortable around you.I love the way our lips touched. It felt like I was the luckiest girl alive the way you used to just look at me and tell me I’m the best gift you can ever receive--the way you smiled at me and gave me that look--the way you would tell me you love me just so I could hear, but the best part was when you used to lay on my chest just so you could hear my heartbeat, so you could know it’s real and you weren’t dreaming. They were the simple things that made me fall in love with you.

I know those are just memories. I guess I had to snap back to reality and realize nothing lasts forever.